You Need a Coach B*tch

Make Your Goals a Reality

• Chris Hale • Episode 109

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Goal setting can work effectively when you focus on the right things. I share insights from my recent dance boot camp where students were reluctant to set goals due to past failures.

• Three types of goals: outcome goals (end results), performance goals (standards within your control), and process goals (daily behaviors)
• Outcome goals like gaining confidence can be achieved by focusing on performance and process goals
• Connect with your "why" to stay motivated throughout your goal journey
• Build performance goals like improving technique, increasing risk tolerance, and enhancing storytelling
• Create actionable process steps for each performance goal
• Be realistic about your capacity when scheduling actions
• Building trust in yourself comes from making and keeping promises to yourself
• Check emotions that block progress (fear, doubt, confusion, overwhelm)
• Remember that becoming the person who pursues goals is as important as achieving them
• Goals can shift and evolve as you grow through the process



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Speaker 1:

Hey, bestie, it's been a minute. I hope you're doing well and that you had an amazing summer. I had a very chill summer. I didn't have a lot going on, so I spent a lot of time resting and getting ready for the year to pop off in September, which it has. It's a new season. We've got back to school, going on and back to the grind. For me, that means a new dance season is in full swing and I had the opportunity to work with some of my students at a boot camp to kick off the year and we did a session on important mental skills and then we did a goal setting workshop and it was very interesting what came up in our goal setting session and I wanted to share that with all of you.

Speaker 1:

Mainly, they were a bit averse to setting goals in the first place, which I thought was funny, but also it made a lot of sense. The main reason is that they have never set and reached a goal before and therefore they were reluctant to set new goals, and I think that this is really common. It makes a lot of sense that they would not want to set goals if they have not been able to achieve them in the past, and I think that it's really common for a lot of us to kind of set goals and then forget about them and not achieve them and then think that goal setting does not work. But it can. It can work. So as I dug a little bit deeper with them, I realized that there were some things we could adjust in their goal setting. That will hopefully turn the tide for them, and maybe it'll also turn the tide for you if you found that you are not able to set and accomplish your goals. So let's start with the goals themselves.

Speaker 1:

I find that one of the main reasons that we don't achieve our goals is because we are focused on the wrong things. There are three types of goals, and we tend to focus on the first one. We focus on outcome goals. So these goals focus on the end result and for some people they can offer sort of like a burst of motivation. But, as we all know, motivation doesn't last forever and with other people, these outcome or result-based goals may feel like really anxious thinking about the long term or the future. And I want to say that thinking about the long term or the future and I want to say that, first of all, both of these reactions are completely normal responses, and it's because the tricky thing about outcome goals is that they're sometimes out of our control.

Speaker 1:

These goals are often dependent on other people having to show up in a specific way in order for them to come to fruition. Having to show up in a specific way in order for them to come to fruition, for example, like setting the goal to get into a certain school. The admissions people have control over who gets in and that's also going to depend on who else applies. We can't control any of those factors. That doesn't mean that we don't have the goal. It just means we need to focus on what is in our control.

Speaker 1:

So it's best to use the desired outcome with the next two goal strategies in mind. First, we have performance goals. These goals focus on the standard you want to achieve and they are within your control and they help you build towards your outcome goal. These give you an area to focus your actions on. And next, we have process goals. These goals support your performance goals. They are the moment-to-moment behaviors that keep you engaged and connected to the larger goals. Basically, your performance and process goals are the action plan you'll put into motion to achieve the outcome just isn't our main focus day to day. We sort of set it and forget it. Some other outcome goals might be to get a specific job or get a promotion. For my dancers out there, it might be to get into the top 10 at a national competition. So go ahead, choose your outcome goal like, decide on the result that you want to create and then we're going to get down to the work of how you actually achieve that goal without it being the main focus.

Speaker 1:

I'll give you an example that comes up a lot for my dancers but I know it is an issue for other people and that is having more confidence. Now you might think you can't set this as a goal, but you absolutely can, because confidence is a skill. I also like it as far as outcomes go, because this does happen to be in our control, as opposed to some of the other outcome goals that we have. So, first off, we want to know why this is the goal. Being connected to your why throughout the journey to your goal is going to be very important. So why? What will achieving this goal do for you? In the case of confidence, it can help dancers in the audition process. It can help you in the application process for a job. It'll also help to enhance skill. When we have confidence, we're more likely to put ourselves out there and take risks, which impacts our overall performance.

Speaker 1:

So, next up, we need the performance goals that are going to be the main areas of focus For this goal. I recommended improving technique, because having stronger technique impacts confidence, because it allows the dancer to trust in their abilities and skills. Next, they need to increase their risk tolerance, as we said earlier. Being able to take risks is imperative to growth overall. And lastly, they're going to work on storytelling through dance, which will connect them more to what they are doing and enhance their overall performance.

Speaker 1:

So, for your own goal, this is what I want you to do. I want you to set that outcome or result, and then I want you to think of three standards that you're going to have to achieve that are going to help pull you towards that goal. And then, once we have those performance goals, we need to work on the process. So, for each of the performance goals, we want to come up with as many actions as possible, and this is the time to brainstorm. What are the things that you're going to need to do on a regular basis to achieve these performance goals. What are some of the obstacles in your way to achieving these performance goals? Those obstacles are going to turn into actions that you can take. So, in order to improve technique, you'll need to do like regular cross training, maybe a Pilates or yoga class, some other kind of fitness class like Orange Theory or maybe, like my favorite, a cycling class. Taking an extra ballet class would be awesome if you're trying to improve your technique, preferably a level that is below your current level and that gives you the opportunity to work on the foundation of your technique. By slowing down, you can create a pre-class warmup that focuses on targeted improvements like core strength, and you can get more involved in class by asking more technically relevant questions and, lastly, watching YouTube videos of others performing at a high level to help develop your eye. So that's five things to help improve technique.

Speaker 1:

So now we would go on to do actions for the other two performance goals. Increasing risk tolerance is a fun one to think about For my school-age people, maybe answering more questions in class, even if you don't know if you're right, right, that's definitely something that feels really risky. Maybe you want to try striking up conversations with strangers and attempt to make new friends. Basically, think of things that make you feel a little bit sick and then, like, go out and do them. This is going to help you increase risk tolerance. And lastly, for this goal about increasing confidence for dancers, we have working on storytelling, so like maybe they need to take an acting class or an improv class, maybe they can volunteer somewhere to do like story hour with kids. There's lots of ways I'm sure that we can think about to improve storytelling. So those are our actions. So that's what I want you to do. Next is I want you to go through and think about your performance goals and come up with as many actions as you can. Anywhere from like three to five is great, but if you can come up with more, that's cool too.

Speaker 1:

Now, what do we do with all these actions? We have to actually do them. This is where things can go off track a little. One of the ways that we get off track is by being perfectionistic with our plan. We go to our calendars and we start filling in all the available time that we have to devote to our goal and it ends up being a little bit too much. And this actually happened with one of the students who had a goal they were working on. They asked me how to know whether or not the process was realistic or not. They had set the goal and given themselves a time frame, but the schedule for it was so intense and time consuming that they had not followed through on it yet. This tells me that they were not being real about their capacity. So we have to be real about our capacity. My suggestion was to make a more realistic schedule that they knew they could follow through on. So that is what you are going to do Give yourself a time frame and start putting your actions on your calendar and just start showing up consistently.

Speaker 1:

One of the best ways to build trust in yourself is by making a plan and then doing what you said you were going to do. Okay, that all sounds great, but what if we do that and we still don't show up for ourselves? And this is where a lot of people end up failing. We let the fact that we haven't kept our word mean that we can't keep our word. So remember, maybe you just expected a little bit too much of yourself at first. We want to go back to our why.

Speaker 1:

Remind yourself what it is that made you want to achieve this goal in the first place and then next check in with our emotions. Emotions drive actions, so if we're not taking action, then there is a feeling there that is blocking us. It might be fear, doubt, confusion or overwhelm. What is causing these emotions? Well, it's going to be what you're believing about the goal and your ability to achieve it. So check in with yourself and really try to understand what is at the root of these feelings. What are the beliefs that are stopping you from showing up from yourself? Once you do that, you can change your focus to create feelings that are going to move you into action. We've already talked about some of our most useful emotions, like commitment, determination and focus, but we might also wanna feel empowered, excited and capable.

Speaker 1:

Remember, we do not need to have all of the energy to accomplish the goal today. We just need the energy to start implementing the plan and trust in ourselves that we're going to continue to show up for ourselves until we achieve the goal. That is the majority of the work, and it's so rewarding when we do that work and prove to ourselves that we can show up for ourselves repeatedly. The last thing I want to address is what happens if we don't achieve the goal in the time frame that we set out to achieve it in. Well, first of all, the result was never the point of it to begin with, which I know sounds a little bit crazy, but Setting goals is all about becoming the kind of person that goes after what they want.

Speaker 1:

So are you still that person? Did you prove to yourself that you were able to show up time and time again? If so, then keep working on it until you achieve it. But we also need to know that these goals are not set in stone and they're allowed to shift and change, as we do. You will grow so much in pursuit of your goal, and that's the important thing.

Speaker 1:

Take time to acknowledge that change and to reassess. Maybe the goal changes or maybe you just extend the timeline to achieving it. Only you're gonna know what the right next step is for you. So that's my process that I use for goal setting with my students and with my clients, and I think that it's really, really helpful in actually getting us to take action and make moves toward our goals. So if you want help with this, let me know, reach out to me and maybe book a consult call and we can actually like set up a plan for you to achieve your goals for this new season, right? I mean, we still have a few months left of this year, and it's never too late to start planning for the future. So let's do it together. All right, friends? I'll talk to you soon.