You Need a Coach B*tch
In this weekly podcast, Certifed Coach Instructor Chris Hale keeps it real and sassy to help you claim your own authority and put the biggest, brightest, most unapologetic version of yourself out into the world.
You Need a Coach B*tch
Embracing Vulnerability
Join me on a fearless exploration of vulnerability. From facing a daunting stage to embracing our quirks, I reveal how dropping the armor cultivates genuine connection. Let's lean into discomfort, own our imperfections, and find our tribe. Together, let's unlock the power of authenticity.
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Hey, besties, how is it going? How are you doing? I am back. I'm back this week. Didn't know if I was gonna be back, and here I am. I'm so happy to be talking to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, one of the things that has really helped me over the last couple of weeks is that I got a new psychiatrist and I have added some medication to my cocktail, so to speak, and I feel like that is really helping me in a way that I really knew I needed, and so I definitely want to encourage everybody out there to trust yourself for knowing what you need. I could have just like left things the way that they were, but I just really wasn't vibing with the person that I was working with prior and I just knew that I could feel better. In a way that I didn't have the ability to make myself feel better. I knew I needed this chemical shift, so I trusted myself, I listened to myself and, although it was difficult to take the actions that were required for me to locate this new psychiatrist and set up the appointment, and I have had it. Do you listen to that podcast? I have had it. I love those ladies. I have had it with all of the services that allow you to sign up online. They ask you questions or like when's a good time for you, etc. Etc. Etc. And then they're like, okay, that's amazing, call the office. And I'm like, why did I just go through this entire charade of thinking I wasn't gonna have to get on the phone, because I hate being on the phone only for me to then be told that I need to call the office. I have had it, but anyway, I did it. I made the appointment, I started seeing the person and he's helping me adjust my meds and I'm feeling so much better. So, yay me. So that's really like the biggest thing that's going on for me. I feel good about it and I hope that you're all feeling good about whatever's going on for you in your life and that you know maybe me talking about this is giving you a little bit of like permission and representation to adjust your meds. If you need your meds adjusted, go on meds. If you need to go on meds, go off meds. If you know they're not working, never start meds, whatever it is that you need. I am a big fan of medication and I wasn't always, but I really realized that it makes a huge difference in my life, so I am so grateful for it.
Speaker 1:Anyway, today we're like going all in and we're gonna be talking about vulnerability. So what's the most vulnerable thing that you feel like you've ever done? Like for me. Imagine this right I'm standing on a stage under bright lights and there are people just watching my every single move and I'm sweating and I'm wearing a jacket that I shouldn't be wearing because it's making me sweat more and my heart is pounding and like literally every fiber in my being is like run off the fucking stage, hide, get out of here, don't, don't let them see you be human, don't open up to them. And I did it. I did it. Could you imagine that it was not one of the many performances that I've done.
Speaker 1:It was the talk that I gave at the Life Coach School, mastermind, a couple of years ago, and I would say that that was probably one of the most vulnerable experiences for me and y'all. I hate to sound cliche, but like vulnerability is not a weakness, it's just not. It is a fucking superpower If you have the willingness to put yourself out there in situations like that, where you're just on display and not in a harmful way, like nothing bad was gonna happen for me talking on stage like there was no, there's no like negative consequence to that. Like obviously, there are other areas of life where, like, I'm not so interesting, I'm not so interested in doing the uncomfortable thing, but like, a lot of that has to do with like sensory overload and it's stuff like that where I just know that it's not going to like actually help me to do the thing. It's going to burn me out, it's going to be overwhelming, right. But that's not what we're talking about, right. We're talking about like vulnerability in the sense that like, right, it feels like you're just naked in front of a crowd, emotionally speaking about something right, just pouring your heart out.
Speaker 1:It's about, like, dropping the armor. It's about tearing down all of our walls and just being like here I am, I'm me, I'm imperfect. These are my flaws and, honestly, it's one of the things that we all need to do right now, especially if we run a business based online. I was talking to a friend the other day about I don't even know who was about, to be honest. Oh, it was about their friend who wants, who's a writer, who wants to write, and they were talking about how their friend could be more polished or wanted to be more polished, and I was saying I don't know, like I feel like right now what people are really gravitating toward is that very personal kind of style where we're really getting to know the person, because social media really broke down the fourth wall and you even see it with celebrities, like there are certain celebrities who have really excelled at just being human online. Oh, and I saw this someone.
Speaker 1:Someone was comparing the Jennifer's Jennifer Garner versus Jennifer Lopez, and not in, like you know, I don't like to pit women against each other. It's not about them being like you know, rivals or anything. We're not talking about Ben Affleck, but just that like Jennifer Lopez, her whole thing has always been I'm a fierce badass. Like I'm gorgeous, I'm stunning, I'm like a quadruple threat and like the look. The look is like we, none of us can attain that look ain't nobody look like Jennifer Lopez in her fifties. I did not look like that in my twenties. Actually, that's not true. I looked really good in my twenties. I look good now, fuck it.
Speaker 1:But Jennifer Garner is really, you know, she's always been the sort of like girl next door and she's really leaned into being really vulnerable online. It's that we actually like get to connect with her in a way that, like we don't with Lopez. You know what I'm saying and that's just like the example that this particular, I guess like PPR person or marketing person was talking about. But I do think it's so important right now if we're trying to whether we're trying to sell anything or we're just online for connection we've all gotten so tired of looking at the perfectly curated thing and we really do want to be connecting with people in a way that feels a little bit more authentic. And I know I can hear it already You're like but, chris, vulnerability is scary and I'm like, fuck, yes, it is, but you have to be willing to put yourself in that position. Right, if you want to achieve your goals and this goes for any goal right? Just, the vulnerability of trying something new.
Speaker 1:We've talked about this before how, like, I always tend to do things that I know I'm going to be good at. There's not a lot of vulnerability in that, but I can create vulnerability by pushing myself to kind of work outside my comfort zone, within those things that I am, that I know I'm going to excel in, but that there are going to be pieces of it where, like you know, maybe I'm not going to be so good at certain aspects of it, right, like I'm not super good at marketing. I'll be honest, I'm just not. And I love having a business, I love like working with my clients, but I don't always love that aspect of it and that's a place where I need to be vulnerable. It's a place where I need to ask for help. That's a part of vulnerability for me is asking for help, and that just goes to show right, like that vulnerability is really the birthplace of connection, because in a situation like that, asking for help kind of forces me to connect with other people.
Speaker 1:Vulnerability can really deepen relationships and when we're doing that, it also kind of like sparks innovation. It helps people be more creative, it helps people be more authentic and, honestly, like I think we can really fire people up on the receiving end of it. Right, it's what gets people to sort of move into action around the thing that you're being vulnerable about yourself, and I just think that there's like so much magic in that space. So how do we get there? How do we really like harness the power of vulnerability in our own lives? So the first thing that we have to have to do is embrace discomfort. We have to. We have to be okay with the sweaty palms and the heart racing and like the feeling like you're gonna shit your pants, like all of that. Right, we have to be okay with that and we know on this podcast that we're really big fans of embracing discomfort and it's those we talked about this in a previous episode those useful negative emotions Like that's the space that we need to be, that's where vulnerability is going to reside.
Speaker 1:The next thing is to really really be okay with imperfection. Brooke Escio talks about this thing like B minus work. I'm pretty sure I probably mentioned it before but like just being okay with good enough and that's a hard thing for a lot of us, right, like I am totally a perfectionist, but we all know that perfectionism is not helping, it's not healthy, it's not doing anything for us. So really like lean into you. Who are you, what are your quirks Like, what are the things that you screw up, what are your messy moments. We wanna see all of that and even if we don't wanna see it, you don't have to show it, but like by you embracing it it's going to kind of calm your nervous system and be like you know what, I'm not afraid of those weird, quirky parts of me coming out. And if you're not afraid of them coming out, then it just allows you to like be in your skin just a little bit more, like fully and authentically, and that's gonna come across in whatever you're doing.
Speaker 1:And then the last thing that you really need to do, honestly, is find your people, because vulnerability is not about you being a one-person army. It's not about you like armoring up and doing it all alone. It's actually about opening up, and we have to really make sure that we're opening up to people who have like earned the right to hear our story, who we know are gonna like hold space for us, that are gonna have like an unconditional, like high regard for who we are and who are gonna be willing to like call us in our bullshit when we need to be called on it right, but we do need that safe space and I know for me, specifically recently, I'm thinking a lot about like I need more neurodivergent people in my life who know they're neurodivergent, cause like there's a lot of people who don't know, but like who've embraced that, who are working through that, who know the struggle of what that feels like, who know how disabling it can be to have a brain that works differently than the world was set up for. You know what I mean. That is so important For us to have. We need community and we need people who are going to love us like fiercely and unapologetically, with all of our messiness and our flaws, and we really need to own Every, every part of our story, every part of our past, every, everything, every struggle we've had, every, every trick, every triumph, every fall, everything, because those are all the things that make us who we are. And when we're Pushing those away, when there's shame involved, when we're hiding those things, people know it, people can feel it. When you have a secret and it makes you less interesting to be honest, because People know that they're not gonna get the full story with you. And this doesn't mean that we have to be like you know info dumping and like trauma bonding with everybody, like that's not what I'm saying. But it means again that like we're not afraid of those things coming out because we know that, like they are part of us and we're proud of them, even if they were our biggest failures, even if there are places where we misstepped. So this is it, this is what we're, this is how we're gonna like lean into vulnerability and we're really going to.
Speaker 1:I I've I've never really thought about doing an episode on this, but I just it's one of those things that is such a like Catchphrase. It's such a like people talk about it all the time and like Brené Brown really launched that word into the zeitgeist, but I feel like sometimes it's like really intangible as to like how we actually do it. So I wanted to kind of like break down for you all today like how I think we create that and Let me know if you would add anything to this, if there would be anything that you would like. You think that I missed, in terms of like how we harness vulnerability, what it means to be vulnerable. You know, I think sometimes people I think sometimes people confuse like the willingness to Share like really personal details about ourselves as vulnerability, but some people do that for shock value and not actually Connection. Right, it's a way to actually keep people at arm's length instead of like bringing them closer. So that's really, if I could sum it up with anything, its vulnerability are the actions that you take that Bring people in closer versus push them away.
Speaker 1:All right, friends, that is a wrap for today. As always, it would mean the world to me if you would go rate and review the podcast. It does a lot for us here and I am eternally grateful for all of you who have already done that. Until next time, like, let's keep doing the damn thing and I will talk to you again soon. Bye, bye.