Endings are a great time to reflect on what has happened in our lives. As we go into a new year, it can be tempting just to look ahead and focus on the "brand new you" that you want to inhabit, but doing that without taking stock of all that you have accomplished can mean that you aren't set up for success down the road. In this episode, I am walking you through some fun questions that will help reveal what you valued in 2023 and what you want to focus on as we conclude this year.
The Dance Coach Podcast - Episode 34
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Endings are a great time to reflect on what has happened in our lives. As we go into a new year, it can be tempting just to look ahead and focus on the "brand new you" that you want to inhabit, but doing that without taking stock of all that you have accomplished can mean that you aren't set up for success down the road. In this episode, I am walking you through some fun questions that will help reveal what you valued in 2023 and what you want to focus on as we conclude this year.
The Dance Coach Podcast - Episode 34
Where to find me:
Connect with me on Instagram
Check out my website
Sign up for a free consult
LinkTree
Hey Besties How are we doing today? I hope that you are having an amazing week. And that if you are celebrating Christmas that you're feeling ready for Christmas. I don't know if we talked about this, but I went a little insane with the decorating this year, I added two trees to our house, one in the living room, and one in my office. And you know what, they're actually making me so happy. I don't feel super in the holiday spirit. Or maybe I do, but it just feels different than I would expect it to feel. I haven't really been like listening to Christmas music and I haven't watched any Christmas movies. Although we did watch bad mom's Christmas the other night. And I don't know that if that got me in the holiday mood. But it definitely got me in like the badass bitch mood. I love those ladies, I could watch a movie. Every year, like just a new bad mom's movie every year. I could, I could be down with that. But yeah, like the decorating has been amazing. The trees are themed. The one in the living room is a white tree with like pink and gold ornaments. And the one on my office is actually branded. So it's my brand colors black, hot pink and white. And so the tree is black. And then I got like pink lights and pink white and black ornaments. And it's got like a big pink bow on it. I mean, it just looks delicious. So I feel really good about that. It's making me happy. And maybe that is what the Christmas spirit is for me this year. Um, I wanted to take a moment today to do like a little reflection. We're not at the New Year yet, but we're close enough. And a couple of things happened that sort of prompted me to want to talk about reflecting on the year. The first one was I was looking through my phone and I decided to do like a year of selfies. So I put together like a little collage of a selfie from every month this year. And while I was doing that, it sort of forced me to look back over the year because I had to go month by month and, and just kind of bring back to my mind, like the front of my mind. Everything that went on this year, just like all the things which was kind of fun. I don't, I've never really done like a year end review. And I don't set resolutions or goals much anymore. For the new year. Like I'm all like New Year's say me, you know, like, I don't expect that I'm going to be like miraculously different in the new year. You know, and I'm not like trying to change myself hugely. Also, a lot of stuff has come up this year, specifically around my identity with my ADHD diagnosis. And I want to do an actual entire episode around that because I'm still processing that it's still like a daily, a daily thing that I'm kind of working through. But anyway, it was just so neat to kind of like go back through the year, and see where I started. And you know, like I decided to rewatch Buffy at the beginning of this year, which I had not watched the entire series since I was a teenager since it originally came out. Like I had watched seasons here and there. But I hadn't done a full rewatch. And that was super fun. I got my branding together. This year, I did that in like March, I had photos from like the little work trip that I took where i i Like went to a hotel to towns over. That was amazing. I got to look at all the puzzles I've completed over the year, so many puzzles. And yeah, I don't know, it just it felt fun to kind of see where where I'd been. And if you are inclined to want to set goals or resolutions for the new year. I want to suggest actually doing a review of your year before you do that. Because oftentimes, we'd set goals from a real place of lack in the moment where like, I don't have this thing that I want yet or my life isn't working the way that I want it to be working. And we're really looking at, like what isn't working and the scarcity and all of that. And that's influencing our goals. But I think if we can take a second to celebrate ourselves, and this is something that I do with a lot of my clients, right? We do celebrations at the beginning of our sessions, it really helps to kind of solidify everything that we've gone through. And actually a coach of mine in a group made a comment or like posted something that said what you celebrate, you integrate. And I just think that that's so amazing because it's true, right? So being able to go back over the year and rarely look at things and celebrate all that you've accomplished is going to set you up so much better for planning for the new year. The other thing that prompted this was I like finished a six month package with a client. And it was her second six month package, that means we've been working together for a year. And so that her last session was today. And it's kind of funny, we sort of started doing the, like review last week and our in our session last week. And we did a lot of celebrating then. But it was fun to kind of just check in with where she's at talk about what what is going on for her for the future. And, again, that look back was so helpful for her, and for me, but it was so helpful for her to kind of recognize that she did so many of the things that she wanted to do and so much more. And I think it helps, you know, to like help have this experience feel really complete, you know, like the are working together. And we're not going to continue working together right now. But I mean, she might be back, the door's always open. And I like this for my clients. I like my clients to go out into the world and like, see, what has integrated, right, like, what have they metabolized? What has become a part of the way that they move through the world now? And where are there still some holes. And I don't think that you can do that. If you're in process, right, we've talked about cycles and seasons. So there is definitely this season to be like really looking at your thoughts and examining them and making these kinds of shifts and changes. But then we don't always get to understand the full benefit of them in the moment. So it's important to, like have some space from doing that kind of work. And this is something that I talked to my dancers about all the time, which was that you can't micromanage your movement. So I would give them a correction. And then they would go and like only focus on that correction, and not anything else. Or they would focus on all the corrections. And we want to do that a couple of times. But we don't want to get stuck there. Because if we get stuck just focusing on applying that correction, then we don't actually know when it's taken hold. Right, I kind of have to like, right, those those levels of competence, right? It's like unconscious competence. What is it? I actually did a whole episode on this and my other podcast, the dance coach podcast, maybe I'll link that in the show notes, right? But it's like, you don't know what you don't know. And then you find out what you don't know. And you're like, oh, shit, I did not know that. And you're like, oh, wow, I have a lot to learn. And then you learn it. And you're like, Okay, I got this. And then it finally becomes a habit where you have this like unconscious competence, but you're just doing it. And we don't know if we've reached that stage or not if we're micromanaging the process. So that's what I mean by that. It's like we really have to allow for ourselves to be in our lives, live in our lives, and let stuff come up. So that we can be like, Oh, okay, that's a place where I still need to do some work. And the work that she wants to do in the future, we talked about this, like her work is going to be about giving more to her people without having to give more of her time. So she's got a lot of content, a lot of classes and courses and many things, many courses and things that she has developed over the years. And these are things that she can sell that can be evergreen that don't require like her to be there. And this is a part of like, scaling responsibly, right. So she's not trying to exploit other people's labor. She's just trying to repackage her own labor, put it back out there for other people, they get to consume, and to be able to make money on the content she's already created. Like, this is an amazing way to scale your business. A lot of people want to start at that place where they want to start with a course. But it's really hard to start selling a course if you don't already have a base of people who are going to buy from you. If you're not already considered like an expert in your field. If people aren't already coming to you for that information. It's not to say you can't do it, but at the same time, it's going to require so much more marketing for you to sell. And so far for her in her case,
we actually celebrated her having her first $100,000 launch. She was doing like a five day thing where she was teaching for free and then people enrolled into her program. Mmm. And she was so close to 100k. And it was like, What could she sell? That would get her over the line? It was like $400 away or something. And then she was like, you know, what, what if I sell the replays of these last five days that I taught, she's like, I was just gonna, it was just for free. It was like, whoever came came, but there was gonna be no access to it afterwards, it was just going to be a one and done. And so she was like, You know what she put out an email to her list for people bought it, it took her over the line for 100k. And like that was it, you know what I mean? So like, that's what I'm talking about in terms of like, you already have to have a base of people, people already have to be following you, for you to really benefit off of having evergreen materials that you're selling. Anyway, that's a whole other topic that I wasn't planning on talking about today. But you know, how we do we diverge. So one of the biggest things that we talked about her and I this here are like the values that she has, that she wants to have in her business. And we talked a lot about play, we talked about fun, we talked about ease, abundance in terms of time, because she started with some time scarcity. And those are great things right to be focusing on to have values run in your business. And even if you don't have a business, right, this work is applicable for just your personal life. And so one of the ways to kind of hone in on what you value. And if your values are still what you thought they were a year ago, is by reflecting on the year. And I haven't done this yet myself, but I am inspired to do it now after this call with my client. And I really want to frame it in a very positive light. Obviously, there are always going to be things that we want to work on. We're high achieving people. But we're not trying to pathologize anything, we're not trying to make ourselves wrong. We're not trying to focus on what's not working. This exercise is about really examining what went well. And if the things that went well, what can I extract from that and bring into my new year. And this is again, a way that you can kind of assess what your values are. So you can answer some of these questions answer what feels like it's important to answer don't answer what you don't want to answer. Don't answer any of them. You know, however you want to do. It's you, you got this bill. Okay. So the first question is, what goals did I achieve this year? So you're just going to answer that what goals did you achieve? Right, one of my goals that I achieved this year as I got out intuitive scheduling, that was something I had been wanting to do for a while is get out a free resource like that. And I achieved that goal, and I feel really good about it. Next question, what did I enjoy most about this year? And I honestly don't know yet. So I'm not even gonna pretend to like answer that question. I do need to reflect on these by myself. And I don't want to do it live on this call with y'all. But I will get there. But I really love this question. Because again, it points to the things that enrich our lives versus the things that may be caused pain, which again, I'm very skewed toward focusing on painful things. Next question, what area of my life got the most focus and attention? This is so important. And this was this specific question. It was inspired by this final session with my client. Because this year, she took a sabbatical from work and traveled around the world with her family, like insane. I don't even know like 20 countries like they weren't they went all over. Are there even 20 countries? I don't know how many countries there are. There's lots of countries right? Oh my god. I am just showing how much I don't understand geography. But she went all over the place. We did calls in Nigeria, we did calls in like, all over Europe and Italy, in she's in Bangkok right now. I mean, just literally she was all over the place. I think she has three kids, her husband like they did the damn thing. And one of the things she was reflecting on is how up until this point in her life up until this year, being a doctor was like this the thing that everything revolved around right being like a physician like that was it everything revolved around that she even like with her husband was like yo, if we are having this relationship you have to understand that this is the central point, the central focal point, and for the first time, in probably her entire life this year, that was not it. And it was really about this experience with her family. And now she'll be transitioning back into like working as a physician, but she's her valve like her her focus has changed. I And she no longer wants to go back to a life where being a doctor is at the center of everything, right. So maybe there's something like that for you, like, maybe you are building a business. And this was a really important year for your business, like, like to really work in it, and on it and build it. And that got the majority of your attention that everything kind of revolved around that. Or maybe it was like your health. You know, I know for me, I started out the year sick, I'm ending the year recovering from sickness. And that's crazy to me. And maybe I'm gonna make health my focus for next year. Not that I could do anything about being sick. But there are definitely ways that I can support my immune system better. I can also like not push myself to try to get back in the game. Before I'm ready. We've talked about that a lot. And I definitely did that to myself. And it was a it was not the smartest move. I will say that like last week was the first week I finally felt like a human being again. And that was nine weeks after I tested positive for COVID. So she hang she hung on y'all. She she hung on for a while, and was really still kicking my ass. And I think that was in part because of the way I pushed myself and had the expectation that I should be feeling better by now. And not listening to my body, which was saying, girl, you don't feel good. You need to slow down, you know what I'm saying? So, do with that which you well. Speaking of my health and things like that next question, What were my biggest challenges this year, and when you like, go through this thing, look at it through the lens of like, how you manage yourself through those challenges, try to see the ways in which you survived those challenges. And be proud of yourself for how you did work through them. Even if like me, you can see there was an area where maybe you could have treated yourself a little better. That's okay. Like we want to, we want to acknowledge that. But also, I'm really like, impressed with myself that I was actually able to teach three SoulCycle classes a week after having COVID. Like, I did that, and they were good fucking classes, and I got amazing feedback for it. So hey, you know, I did that next question. What surprised me most this year? And girl, I'll tell you like, what surprised me most is that I'm back at SoulCycle. Like the fact that I made that, like I reached out and made that connection. And a week later, like that is still the most shocking thing for me this year that like I did that. So what did what? What has surprised you about your year? What have you What have you done that? Maybe you were like, wow, I can't believe I did that. Or in the moment, it was shocking to you that you were making the decision that you were making. And the last question is, again, fully inspired from my client review today, her daughter, her six year old, which I think is the sweetest thing ever. They were on their way to Bangkok on the plane and her six year old was like, I wish we could rewind and do it all over again. And isn't that amazing? Like that she had such a good time. And I'm sure not all of it was amazing. Not everything is amazing all the time. But she really like was able to look back and, and value and have gratitude for the experience that she had. And she wants to do it again. And specifically like Nigeria, which I think is amazing, like, so my clients from Nigeria, she has family there. They were visiting family. They were celebrating her father who passed a few years ago. So it was just a good, really beautiful family time. And the child was like really wanting to like go back and specifically relive that. And I think that that's so beautiful. So the question is what I do it again.
And so you can decide what you want to apply that question to you can apply it to your whole year. You can apply it to specific events, specific circumstances, specific decisions that you made. One of the things that I loved about Brookes work when I first started listening to her podcast, was bringing to my awareness, the fact that right every day that we wake up and we stay in the situation that we're in, we're making the decision to do that we're re committing to that thing. And some of us are doing that unconsciously in a default. And some of us are doing it very cool. unjustly, some of us are doing it, thinking we don't have any other option. And just getting really clear about where you're making that decision from, when I get up. And I decide, I'm going to do the things that I said I was going to do yesterday, I'm going to stay in their relationship by man, and I'm going to take care of myself in specific ways. I'm going to go to the job that I had yesterday, and I hadn't, I haven't decided to just like up and quit it, right? Like, these are all the things that we're making decisions about. And what I do it again, when I make that same decision, and she talks about in a really grand way, like, you know, if I had this decision to make, like, if I could go back to like, say, like, if I could go back to October or September, and make the decision to, like, go through SoulCycle training again, what I today like me today, who I am now, would I make that decision again? And the answer is yes, I would decide to go through that again. That is something that I'm very happy with that I did. That also doesn't mean that I like I'm gonna stay working there forever, right? Like, who knows, like, I don't know what the future is going to bring. But I know for right now, if I had to make that decision again, today, I would really make the same decision. So what I do it again, that's an amazing question, apply it where as needed. So once you've answered all these questions, then you can go back and reflect on them and and figure out what you valued. So I think like, you know, what did I enjoy most this year, that's going to show you what you valued? Right? If it was like connecting with other people, or like the Barbie movie, like, I enjoyed the Barbie movies so much, I've seen it five times. I don't know what that says about my values. It did like really bring me back to my childhood. And I decided to, you know, buy a used totally her Barbie from Etsy and clean her up and wash her hair and brush it out. And she's now on display in my office like that feels like and a really beautiful moment of like re parenting and like healing my inner child. So yeah, I value that. And maybe I want to do more of that in the new year. And how can I pursue more things that maybe as a child weren't supported by other people, or I was meant to feel shame around? Because I shouldn't be playing with dolls or whatever, you know what I mean? Like, how can I revisit some of those things as an adult and give myself permission to have them and really heal those childhood wounds? That is something that I value? And I think is really important. The one about focus, right? Where did you focus your time, your energy, your attention? That is gonna show you what you value? Did you value again, connecting with other people? Did you value time alone? Did you value your work? Did you value your hobbies, your creative time? Like what was it? And do you want to bring that value into the new year? Or do you want to have a different focus next year. And so then once you have a list of your values that you want to bring into the new year, that's when I would go about setting goals, that's when I would go about thinking about the accomplishments that you want to achieve in the next 12 months. Because then you can brainstorm that, like, do a little brain dump of all the things you think you might want to do. And then hold them up against the things that you say that you're going to focus on as values that are going to be at the foundation of your year. And if those things, if something on the list is not aligned with your values, either it's gotta get marked off the list or you've got to re think what your values actually are. So this is my year in review, this is what I'm planning on doing. And I hope that if you do it that it's helpful for you and I would love to hear about it. So if you end up doing this review and anything comes up that's interesting for you. Please keep me in the loop. I would love to know what your experience is. So you as always you can email me at Chris at the only Chris hale.com You can DM me on the Insta or Facebook or even tick tock me I don't check tick tock that often. But I mean we're on there. And as always, as we go into the new year, I would so much appreciate not only if you would like and review but if you have a favorite episode of this podcast, share it with somebody that you love, share it with somebody that you think would benefit from the lesson in it, you know, because more than anything, I just want to be able to help as many people as possible. And you can be a part of that goal for me if you want to we can do it together. All right, friends, I mean, I will be back next week. It will not be the new year yet. So we're still going to be talking about shit. And maybe I will kind of give you an update on what it's been like processing my ADHD diagnosis and some of the other things that have come up around that journey as well. All right, friends have a very Merry Christmas if you celebrate and I'll talk to you next week.